"THE Weekend"

So most of you were there for our antics (and thank goodness or we would have NO clue what happened...), but for those of you who weren't, this report should humor you. I, Louise, took care of destroying Friday night while Thelma took down Saturday...and Sunday...

Friday: began immediately after work consuming wine in the hopes of drinking less at the bars which translates into smaller tabs...wrong. All this accomplished was the purchase of more drinks for other people and thus a still-large tab. Also, it was the Royale’s birthday so everyone was in high spirits (i.e. wasted) and thoroughly prepared to down some shots. Absolutely everyone was there, the Royale, Par, Thelma & Louise, JT, Bunny, Dragnet, Photon, etc. The Menace was sick however :(

Later, I ventured to the 7 with some friends after Joe's, but things get REALLY hazy at this point. There was some sitting outside at a table at which I def tried to give relationship advice- like I'm the expert- and then it began raining/hailing heavily. In one minute, everyone I was hanging out with dashed to their cars, and I, brilliantly, decided to stay. Upon realizing that I did not know another soul at the 7 at that point, I proceeded to call Turnip- forcing them out of bed and back out to the bar in the rain- to hang out with me. The rest of the evening has been recounted to me, but I have absolutely NO recollection of almost getting in a fight with some other chicks, hugging lots of people, collapsing onto the ground, etc., etc. Needless to say, Saturday was one of the most worthless days but was somewhat salvaged by Derk's biscuits (sausage, egg and cheese...yum) and bloody marys.

Saturday: began with Derk's biscuits and bloody marys (as previously noted) followed by one of the laziest Saturdays of all time. After wasting away an entire day, I, Thelma, headed to Joe's while Louise stayed home with her overnight guest. Joe's was weirdly dead which apparently was not okay with JT because he left me for the 7 after I'd consumed exactly one drink. I hung around and played (watched) pool with a few dear friends, Stew and Photon (you haven't heard of them before) and their married couple friends. And this is where things get interesting...

Suddenly I found myself peer pressured into going to 322. Yes, really. In case you didn't know, 322 is a gay nightclub complete with drag show. I had never been and was reluctant to leave the comforts of Joe's and the 7. But JT deserting me that night was the best (worst?) thing that's ever happened to me. 322 was THE sh*t. The trannies were amazing. One even called me up on stage after his/her act and revealed to the giant crowd of club-goers that "giiiirl, you straight, ain't you?" She also called me out on my homemade bow tie. I made it at Joe's from a bar nap and scotch tape. I thought it was cool, but whatever. What else?.....ah, yes. I danced in both cages and used the men's bathroom. Twice. In front of Photon. We danced all night. I danced like you've never seen before! Except for when Photon and I did the robot - you've probably seen me do that. It's pretty much my signature move. Anyway, I have no idea what time I got home that night (er, morning). But when I woke up the next day and started remembering details of the night before, it was awesome. Can't wait to see the pictures.

Sunday: was...it just was. A few things were accomplished like laundry and grocery store runs. Then after Louise cooked a yummy dinner I headed BACK to Joe's with the foolish idea I'd meet some friends for one or two drinks and come home early. Wrong. Oh, I came home early alright. Do I remember coming home? No. Do I remember who had to drive me home since I was clearly in no condition to drive myself, and therefore had to leave my car in the parking lot of the 7? No. Do I remember how many carbombs I consumed? No. I don't remember anything after #3. Do I remember hiding the Menace's wallet in my purse and then refusing to give it back? Uhh...did I really do that? Yes, because I still have his wallet. These details are slowly getting back to me thanks to the friends I was with who unfortunately didn't drink enough last night and now have to cope with the deep, emotional trauma caused by my black-out level inebriation. My sincere apologies.