1) What the hell happened at Joe's last night?
2) What the hell happened at the 7 last night?
Any answers are appreciated. Thank you for your help in this matter.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Have we met?
Hi, we're T&L...we're regulars...we're not stupid. And despite our passion for writing, we also know a thing or two about math. In fact, my boss had me working on billing yesterday. So if you think you pulled a fast one on us, think again.
Anyway, tomorrow night from 6 to 10 is the "It's Better Late Than Never" Beer Festival at Hampstead. $5 entry fee for all the beer you can handle (but don't quote me on that because my memory's a little fuzzy today). 5272 Hampstead High Street.
XOXO,
T&L
Anyway, tomorrow night from 6 to 10 is the "It's Better Late Than Never" Beer Festival at Hampstead. $5 entry fee for all the beer you can handle (but don't quote me on that because my memory's a little fuzzy today). 5272 Hampstead High Street.
XOXO,
T&L
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Logobomb!
How fun and random was last night? This morning at work I pulled this bar nap from the 7 out of my purse: "Megan telling her asthma story...Lee: 'That's a long story just to say they missed your vein.'" Ha! Good times. Anyway, thanks to our very artistic friend, Turnip, we now have a series of potential Cloverbombs logos (also drawn on a bar nap - those things are handy!). And since we love our readers soooo much, we want YOU to vote on your favorite logo in our latest poll! We'd also appreciate any suggestions on the logos you might have. The winning logo will become the official logo of Cloverbombs!
I Can Haz Littur?
Eleanor here, writing to tell you all about my fabulous Monday night. So Thelma & Louise left me home alone...again. I was really not pleased with this...I mean, I'm the cutest kitty ever, and they think they can just leave me??? Puh-lease. Anyway, I decided to get back at those girls. They were out having a wild time with their friends doing whatever it is they do that causes them to come home all stinky and balance-challenged. So back to my revenge...I made several trips to my litter box and grabbed a paw-full each time- btw, it is hard walking on three paws...maybe that's why T&L are always falling over, not enough paws. Anyway, I sprinkled litter EVERYWHERE. I mean, everywhere. On chairs, floors, rugs, you name it. They were surprised this morning. Haha...I'm a smart kitty.
Monday, November 17, 2008
"THE Weekend"
So most of you were there for our antics (and thank goodness or we would have NO clue what happened...), but for those of you who weren't, this report should humor you. I, Louise, took care of destroying Friday night while Thelma took down Saturday...and Sunday...
Friday: began immediately after work consuming wine in the hopes of drinking less at the bars which translates into smaller tabs...wrong. All this accomplished was the purchase of more drinks for other people and thus a still-large tab. Also, it was the Royale’s birthday so everyone was in high spirits (i.e. wasted) and thoroughly prepared to down some shots. Absolutely everyone was there, the Royale, Par, Thelma & Louise, JT, Bunny, Dragnet, Photon, etc. The Menace was sick however :(
Later, I ventured to the 7 with some friends after Joe's, but things get REALLY hazy at this point. There was some sitting outside at a table at which I def tried to give relationship advice- like I'm the expert- and then it began raining/hailing heavily. In one minute, everyone I was hanging out with dashed to their cars, and I, brilliantly, decided to stay. Upon realizing that I did not know another soul at the 7 at that point, I proceeded to call Turnip- forcing them out of bed and back out to the bar in the rain- to hang out with me. The rest of the evening has been recounted to me, but I have absolutely NO recollection of almost getting in a fight with some other chicks, hugging lots of people, collapsing onto the ground, etc., etc. Needless to say, Saturday was one of the most worthless days but was somewhat salvaged by Derk's biscuits (sausage, egg and cheese...yum) and bloody marys.
Saturday: began with Derk's biscuits and bloody marys (as previously noted) followed by one of the laziest Saturdays of all time. After wasting away an entire day, I, Thelma, headed to Joe's while Louise stayed home with her overnight guest. Joe's was weirdly dead which apparently was not okay with JT because he left me for the 7 after I'd consumed exactly one drink. I hung around and played (watched) pool with a few dear friends, Stew and Photon (you haven't heard of them before) and their married couple friends. And this is where things get interesting...
Suddenly I found myself peer pressured into going to 322. Yes, really. In case you didn't know, 322 is a gay nightclub complete with drag show. I had never been and was reluctant to leave the comforts of Joe's and the 7. But JT deserting me that night was the best (worst?) thing that's ever happened to me. 322 was THE sh*t. The trannies were amazing. One even called me up on stage after his/her act and revealed to the giant crowd of club-goers that "giiiirl, you straight, ain't you?" She also called me out on my homemade bow tie. I made it at Joe's from a bar nap and scotch tape. I thought it was cool, but whatever. What else?.....ah, yes. I danced in both cages and used the men's bathroom. Twice. In front of Photon. We danced all night. I danced like you've never seen before! Except for when Photon and I did the robot - you've probably seen me do that. It's pretty much my signature move. Anyway, I have no idea what time I got home that night (er, morning). But when I woke up the next day and started remembering details of the night before, it was awesome. Can't wait to see the pictures.
Sunday: was...it just was. A few things were accomplished like laundry and grocery store runs. Then after Louise cooked a yummy dinner I headed BACK to Joe's with the foolish idea I'd meet some friends for one or two drinks and come home early. Wrong. Oh, I came home early alright. Do I remember coming home? No. Do I remember who had to drive me home since I was clearly in no condition to drive myself, and therefore had to leave my car in the parking lot of the 7? No. Do I remember how many carbombs I consumed? No. I don't remember anything after #3. Do I remember hiding the Menace's wallet in my purse and then refusing to give it back? Uhh...did I really do that? Yes, because I still have his wallet. These details are slowly getting back to me thanks to the friends I was with who unfortunately didn't drink enough last night and now have to cope with the deep, emotional trauma caused by my black-out level inebriation. My sincere apologies.
Friday: began immediately after work consuming wine in the hopes of drinking less at the bars which translates into smaller tabs...wrong. All this accomplished was the purchase of more drinks for other people and thus a still-large tab. Also, it was the Royale’s birthday so everyone was in high spirits (i.e. wasted) and thoroughly prepared to down some shots. Absolutely everyone was there, the Royale, Par, Thelma & Louise, JT, Bunny, Dragnet, Photon, etc. The Menace was sick however :(
Later, I ventured to the 7 with some friends after Joe's, but things get REALLY hazy at this point. There was some sitting outside at a table at which I def tried to give relationship advice- like I'm the expert- and then it began raining/hailing heavily. In one minute, everyone I was hanging out with dashed to their cars, and I, brilliantly, decided to stay. Upon realizing that I did not know another soul at the 7 at that point, I proceeded to call Turnip- forcing them out of bed and back out to the bar in the rain- to hang out with me. The rest of the evening has been recounted to me, but I have absolutely NO recollection of almost getting in a fight with some other chicks, hugging lots of people, collapsing onto the ground, etc., etc. Needless to say, Saturday was one of the most worthless days but was somewhat salvaged by Derk's biscuits (sausage, egg and cheese...yum) and bloody marys.
Saturday: began with Derk's biscuits and bloody marys (as previously noted) followed by one of the laziest Saturdays of all time. After wasting away an entire day, I, Thelma, headed to Joe's while Louise stayed home with her overnight guest. Joe's was weirdly dead which apparently was not okay with JT because he left me for the 7 after I'd consumed exactly one drink. I hung around and played (watched) pool with a few dear friends, Stew and Photon (you haven't heard of them before) and their married couple friends. And this is where things get interesting...
Suddenly I found myself peer pressured into going to 322. Yes, really. In case you didn't know, 322 is a gay nightclub complete with drag show. I had never been and was reluctant to leave the comforts of Joe's and the 7. But JT deserting me that night was the best (worst?) thing that's ever happened to me. 322 was THE sh*t. The trannies were amazing. One even called me up on stage after his/her act and revealed to the giant crowd of club-goers that "giiiirl, you straight, ain't you?" She also called me out on my homemade bow tie. I made it at Joe's from a bar nap and scotch tape. I thought it was cool, but whatever. What else?.....ah, yes. I danced in both cages and used the men's bathroom. Twice. In front of Photon. We danced all night. I danced like you've never seen before! Except for when Photon and I did the robot - you've probably seen me do that. It's pretty much my signature move. Anyway, I have no idea what time I got home that night (er, morning). But when I woke up the next day and started remembering details of the night before, it was awesome. Can't wait to see the pictures.
Sunday: was...it just was. A few things were accomplished like laundry and grocery store runs. Then after Louise cooked a yummy dinner I headed BACK to Joe's with the foolish idea I'd meet some friends for one or two drinks and come home early. Wrong. Oh, I came home early alright. Do I remember coming home? No. Do I remember who had to drive me home since I was clearly in no condition to drive myself, and therefore had to leave my car in the parking lot of the 7? No. Do I remember how many carbombs I consumed? No. I don't remember anything after #3. Do I remember hiding the Menace's wallet in my purse and then refusing to give it back? Uhh...did I really do that? Yes, because I still have his wallet. These details are slowly getting back to me thanks to the friends I was with who unfortunately didn't drink enough last night and now have to cope with the deep, emotional trauma caused by my black-out level inebriation. My sincere apologies.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Way to go, us!
Congrats to Thelma & Louise for stepping up the blog! That's right, we are going to be the official blog of Future Montgomery Magazine - look for the announcement in the Dec/Jan issue. We did have to make one small compromise and that is changing our name from Cloverbitches to Cloverbombs...just wanted to make you all aware of that so you don't think our blog has been hijacked.
Yours truly,
Cloverbombs
Post-election Polling
Because we have to be weaned off of polls telling us what is really going on...
So after 6 days of extensive polling, we will finally reveal to you our theory (previously revealed in one of our first posts...). As we often say, it seems that we are, at times, the only clear-minded, non-dbag people in a 2 mile vicinity. What makes this possible, you ask? Well, we only drink filtered water. The City of Montgomery has been slowly dosing its citizens with some sort of crazy powder which our almighty Brita is able to extract from our water. So, apparently we're all just about split down the middle on this issue. Perhaps we'll revise our theory a bit...
More importantly, anyone have awesome suggestions for weekend events? I mean, other than Joe's and the 7???
So after 6 days of extensive polling, we will finally reveal to you our theory (previously revealed in one of our first posts...). As we often say, it seems that we are, at times, the only clear-minded, non-dbag people in a 2 mile vicinity. What makes this possible, you ask? Well, we only drink filtered water. The City of Montgomery has been slowly dosing its citizens with some sort of crazy powder which our almighty Brita is able to extract from our water. So, apparently we're all just about split down the middle on this issue. Perhaps we'll revise our theory a bit...
More importantly, anyone have awesome suggestions for weekend events? I mean, other than Joe's and the 7???
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
This weekend one of us hit Rock Bottom
No, your eyes do not deceive you – Thelma actually crossed the bypass and ventured into an alien bar out east. Without her partner in crime. The experience was horrifying from the beginning. As soon as she walked through the door she was bombarded by loud, thumping club music and a ginormous crowd of d-bags. It took her half an hour to get a drink (now you know why we love our Clovertenders). She lost the people she came with and was terrified out of her mind. The most heart-wrenching part of this whole ordeal? She cried…all alone, outside the bar. We were concerned it had caused permanent damage and that she’d be traumatized for life...
Fortunately Louise returned from the ‘Ham and the situation almost immediately improved. On Monday we decided to make a night of it in hopes of reversing the damage caused by hitting the craggy depths of Rock Bottom. Mission accomplished. All (well, most) is right with the world now!
Fortunately Louise returned from the ‘Ham and the situation almost immediately improved. On Monday we decided to make a night of it in hopes of reversing the damage caused by hitting the craggy depths of Rock Bottom. Mission accomplished. All (well, most) is right with the world now!
Monday, November 10, 2008
ΓΒΧ
Let's all welcome a new member of the Car Bomb Club family- Gamma Beta Chi.That's right, XBX has a little sister now- the Girl Bomb Club. Thelma, Louise and Bunny had a most fabulous night last...uh...Thursday? It almost didn't happen, though, as Bunny's timidity toward the car bomb showed itself - the skittishness was quickly quashed by the notation that a Girl Bomb had never been partaken of before. Thanks, Bunny, for helping us start this new tradition.
Of course if the fraternal members are present, the group will immediately defer to XBX, but if it's just the girls hanging out, there's no reason for us not to be able to enjoy the celebration and shenanigans associated with flavor-enhanced Guinness.
That being said, more power to girls chugging beer!
Friday, November 7, 2008
Is it really finally Friday?
I don't know about all of you but this has been possibly the longest week ever in the history of mankind. By only Tuesday we were convinced it was actually Thursday. And by 'convinced' I mean it literally caused extreme scheduling blunders and all around confusion. 'TGIF' never rang so true.
Now for the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard:
Last night we met some of our fellow members of XBX for a few drinks and good cheer (per usual) at Joe's. When it was finally time for a carbomb The Royale put in the order. Then...it hurts now even thinking back on it...Bagz said, "we're out of Guinness."
(I'll give you a second to mull over that one)....................
Just like that. Without the slightest bit of compassion. The entire Corner was stunned. I heard crickets. After what seemed like hours of silence we finally began our interrogation and discovered that the Guinness had only been delivered that afternoon and would take several hours to come to peak carbombing temperature. Not gonna lie - that explanation was not satisfying. Why weren't we informed beforehand? I never received a phone call, email, text (i can do that again, btw), nothing. Did the person in charge of ordering inventory at Joe's really not believe a single carbomb would be ordered last night? I mean COME ON!
Anyway, the Guinness should be chilled to perfection tonight so no worries!
And now for a little bit of awesomeness:
Did you know there's a mystery shot box at Joe's? Neither did we. Evidently how this works is you reach into a box that's kept behind the bar and pull out an index card. Written on these index cards are names of various shots, many of which the bartenders have concocted themselves. Such smart bartenders! Anyway, obviously you can't look inside the box when it's time to draw as that would totally defeat the purpose, but whatever shot is written on your index card you must take. Refusing the shot is punishable by complete social rejection as no one will like you anymore and something totally gross and embarrassing about you will be written on the bathroom wall. This game sounds like fun! May have to try it tonight. Except they won't let us try the game tonight - or ever - because they're afraid we'll rip shit up if we get that drunk...
Now for the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard:
Last night we met some of our fellow members of XBX for a few drinks and good cheer (per usual) at Joe's. When it was finally time for a carbomb The Royale put in the order. Then...it hurts now even thinking back on it...Bagz said, "we're out of Guinness."
(I'll give you a second to mull over that one)....................
Just like that. Without the slightest bit of compassion. The entire Corner was stunned. I heard crickets. After what seemed like hours of silence we finally began our interrogation and discovered that the Guinness had only been delivered that afternoon and would take several hours to come to peak carbombing temperature. Not gonna lie - that explanation was not satisfying. Why weren't we informed beforehand? I never received a phone call, email, text (i can do that again, btw), nothing. Did the person in charge of ordering inventory at Joe's really not believe a single carbomb would be ordered last night? I mean COME ON!
Anyway, the Guinness should be chilled to perfection tonight so no worries!
And now for a little bit of awesomeness:
Did you know there's a mystery shot box at Joe's? Neither did we. Evidently how this works is you reach into a box that's kept behind the bar and pull out an index card. Written on these index cards are names of various shots, many of which the bartenders have concocted themselves. Such smart bartenders! Anyway, obviously you can't look inside the box when it's time to draw as that would totally defeat the purpose, but whatever shot is written on your index card you must take. Refusing the shot is punishable by complete social rejection as no one will like you anymore and something totally gross and embarrassing about you will be written on the bathroom wall. This game sounds like fun! May have to try it tonight. Except they won't let us try the game tonight - or ever - because they're afraid we'll rip shit up if we get that drunk...
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Does Superman Wear Dennis Tillery Pajamas?
The above question was posed to us last night by our dear friend Cody. And Cody, the answer is yes.
We hope everyone has recovered from the political hangover that was the Wednesday after election day...whether your candidate won or lost, thanks for making the effort to go out and vote.
In other news, a very good friend, Mason, is leaving us for some Podunk town called New Orleans...I mean, why in the world would anyone move from Montgomery to New Orleans??? We are baffled...
We are unsure of his exact departure date, but if you see him out and about this weekend, give him big hugs and don't be afraid to shed those crocodile tears...
Enough about other people, let's talk about us. Last night was like a whole Saturday jam packed into a few glorious hours. We almost wrecked Cloverdale.
Just a little rundown of our activities:
There were our musical stylings with Beck (you can catch us at 8:45 at the Torchlight Lounge on Tuesdays and Wednesdays), Par's stories of a debauched youth stealing cop cars and cookie trucks, PB&J's revelations and proclivities towards exorcisms, Menace's ass-grabbing (nothing new there) and the awesome deer meat pasta (think he picked up his tupperware he stuck behind the outdoor light above Joe's door? Doubtful...), our awesome trip to Waffle House (after calling approximately 13 fast food restaurants to find them all closed before even thinking of waffle house) + rocking out to Queen there and back, nudie photo hunt, sneaky sons of bitches, girly shots...
Just for the record, we were basically in a nutritional deficit until around 1 this morning so the patty melt and hash browns pretty much brought us back to normal levels thus making our hunger now totally justified...lunch anyone?
Stay beautiful, Cloverdale
***If you would like to receive email notifications of new blog postings, please respond to this post with the email address to which you would like to receive those messages.***
We hope everyone has recovered from the political hangover that was the Wednesday after election day...whether your candidate won or lost, thanks for making the effort to go out and vote.
In other news, a very good friend, Mason, is leaving us for some Podunk town called New Orleans...I mean, why in the world would anyone move from Montgomery to New Orleans??? We are baffled...
We are unsure of his exact departure date, but if you see him out and about this weekend, give him big hugs and don't be afraid to shed those crocodile tears...
Enough about other people, let's talk about us. Last night was like a whole Saturday jam packed into a few glorious hours. We almost wrecked Cloverdale.
Just a little rundown of our activities:
There were our musical stylings with Beck (you can catch us at 8:45 at the Torchlight Lounge on Tuesdays and Wednesdays), Par's stories of a debauched youth stealing cop cars and cookie trucks, PB&J's revelations and proclivities towards exorcisms, Menace's ass-grabbing (nothing new there) and the awesome deer meat pasta (think he picked up his tupperware he stuck behind the outdoor light above Joe's door? Doubtful...), our awesome trip to Waffle House (after calling approximately 13 fast food restaurants to find them all closed before even thinking of waffle house) + rocking out to Queen there and back, nudie photo hunt, sneaky sons of bitches, girly shots...
Just for the record, we were basically in a nutritional deficit until around 1 this morning so the patty melt and hash browns pretty much brought us back to normal levels thus making our hunger now totally justified...lunch anyone?
Stay beautiful, Cloverdale
***If you would like to receive email notifications of new blog postings, please respond to this post with the email address to which you would like to receive those messages.***
Monday, November 3, 2008
Vote!
Ok... So we ALL know what a huge day tomorrow is! If there is the remote chance that you are going to be lazy or your car won't start or some other BS, go ahead and reply to this post...one of us is planning to go to the poll in Cloverdale at 4 tomorrow and the other is going to the one at ASF. We will be glad to pick up any of you, your friends, neighbors, grandparents, cousins, whomever...If that isn't enough motivation for you, listen to this: with an "I Voted" sticker, you can get a free coffee at Starbucks or doughnut at Krispy Kreme (lucky peeps in big cities get free Ben & Jerry's ice cream too)! I mean, come on, what more do you people want? Change??!! Ok, well that's coming either way...
Anyway, the Cloverbitches intend on being at Joe's tomorrow evening for an Election Coverage party of sorts...no bottle breaking, screaming or crying please.
Anyway, the Cloverbitches intend on being at Joe's tomorrow evening for an Election Coverage party of sorts...no bottle breaking, screaming or crying please.
Blind Item
And, we're off! Debuting blind item #1:
What murderous (of expensive pets) and traitorous (of every "friend" this
individual has ever had) has now moved on to a 9th (!!!) roommate in the
span of just 3 short years?
What murderous (of expensive pets) and traitorous (of every "friend" this
individual has ever had) has now moved on to a 9th (!!!) roommate in the
span of just 3 short years?
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