Mission: Impossible

Didn’t we specifically say no compelling emails? Well, evidently our dear friend Law lives by his own rules. Around 4 o’clock Tuesday afternoon I received a rather enticing email from him suggesting, since we were deprived of our usual time together at the 7, that I come out for two drinks and a carbomb. On him…………………

Okay, you twisted my arm! I didn’t even stand a chance.

So while Lo demonstrated a remarkable resistance to temptation and was hibernating away, I, Thelma, failed miserably yet again. Back to Joe’s for me. Of course as soon as TCO walks in, she immediately stops in her tracks, points at me, and starts laughing. You can’t really blame her though – I mean, my complete lack of will power lately is pretty pathetic. Even The Royal seemed somewhat perplexed asking, “So when is Ryan going to stop tricking us with these threats of hibernation?” (or something along those lines). Anyway, my fake-out turned out to be a blessing because, thanks to TCO, we can now tell someone “you’re a dbag” in seven real languages and one made-up language. Not only that, we now can also randomly shout “beer nuts!” and throw out the all important “I’m just sayin’” and sound extremely intelligent and sexy at the same time! Je dis juste. A-Mazing! For your language lesson of the day, check out TCO’s beautiful “Tabsheet Art” (to the right):

Psych!

As several of you already know, we ended up at the bars last night after all. Boy, did we fool you or what?! Did you really believe we were serious about going into hibernation? We totally punked Cloverdale!

Just kidding. Last night’s pre-hibernation throw-down (I borrowed that from TCO – she comes up with some good ones!) was actually a last-minute complete failure of will power. Hibernation will resume tonight. We mean it this time. Please, no compelling calls, texts, emails, bat signals…you get the picture. ‘Will Power’ is not either of our middle names and we very easily give into peer pressure (especially in the form of “gang bang” texts). So one more time: We are not going out tonight. Period. End of story. This is not open for debate (who am I trying to convince here??).

Anyway, both Joe’s and the 7 were pretty dead last night (I mean, it was only Monday so I guess that’s alright) so there isn’t too much news to report today. By the time we got to Joe’s, the corner had already been taken (how dare they!) and was too crowded even for us to squeeze in. We sat in the middle of the bar instead. Better views of the NFL games (which we’re sooooo interested in seeing) anyway, so there! TCO joined us for Roadhouse at the 7. At first she turned down our invitation explaining how tired she’d been all day. But there’s just something about T&L you can’t quite resist no matter how intent you are on sticking to your guns ;). Anyway, we basically owned the 7 last night. T&L, TCO, The Menace, and Law (plus Lee, Zig and maybe 2-3 others) were the only customers! And the indoor fireplace was going. How cozy! We discussed how all we need now are sofas, but then we realized if that were to happen we’d end up waking up there the next morning waaayyy too often. Talk about getting the rumor mill going…

The intimacy was short-lived. There was a downpour of randoms at about 10:00 PM. It literally went from just us to like 40 people in two shakes of a lamb’s tail! This turned out to be advantageous for us because even though we were separated from our friends, we made new ones and had drinks and shots bought for us :).

On hibernation

So as you all know, Louise has been practically MIA for some time now, spending the past several weekends/holidays with her friends and family in the ‘Ham for various reasons (yes, she is still alive). This has meant that I, Thelma, have been single-handedly wreaking havoc (or at least trying to) on Cloverdale. I’ve put in several hard-working solo hours but the recent skyrocket in Cloverdrama has begun to take its toll. I’ve come to realize I can't handle the drama that is Cloverdale without my partner in crime. I mean in all seriousness, it's just a little too much for one badass outlaw chick to conquer all on her own :(. I eagerly await Lo’s return, which shouldn’t be too far in the future. In the meantime, I’m considering joining her in her hibernation.

The following definitions of ‘hibernate’ (note specifically #2) are courtesy of MSN Encarta (http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_1861617791/hibernate.html):

hi•ber•nate [ hībər nàyt ] (past and past participle hi•ber•nat•ed, present participle hi•ber•nat•ing, 3rd person present singular hi•ber•nates)

intransitive verb

Definition: 1. pass winter asleep: to be in a dormant state resembling sleep over the winter while living off reserves of body fat, with a decrease in body temperature and pulse rate and slower metabolism. Animals that hibernate include bears, bats, and many amphibians.

2. become less active: to become less active, especially by staying at home rather than going out to socialize

The goals of this experiment are to 1) cleanse ourselves of all the b.s. that’s going around, 2) save some money, for cryin’ out loud, and 3) possibly drop a few lbs in the meantime. But don’t you worry – this will probably only last a few days, if that. You’ll be seeing our smiling faces sooner than you know it!

Kisses,
T-Lo

P.s. While we’re in hibernation, can someone please find out for Louise if she can take her sparkling water into Joe’s?

You best educate yo’self!

Fortunately, T-Lo had the privilege of attending two very prestigious prep schools here in Alabama, but certainly not everyone has that opportunity. Two weeks ago, the education spending budget for the state of Alabama was prorated, effectively leaving schools with a nearly $0 operating budget.

I know that many schools are asking parents to buy 2 of each household product (one for themselves and one for the school) when they grocery shop, but many families are also feeling the effects of the national economy's plummet. I, Lo, have already begun donating small amounts of money to individual schools (schools can indeed accept ear-marked cash or personal check donations for daily operations) as they each lack different necessities.

I encourage you to start out 2009 with a generous heart - you will experience a karmic repayment - and help out the kids in our public schools who are suffering because of the actions of adults. With well-educated children, we will hopefully have a more responsible and well-informed leadership in the future.

If you’re still reading, thanks for indulging me in my rant ;)
Much love!

Back with your T-Lo fix

So now that T&L have attempted to reacquaint ourselves with the 5-day work week (boo on that), we return to our blog ;) We know you were all beside yourselves with boredom without us so here we go again...welcome 2009! If anyone has awesome stories or pics from NYE (or the holidays in general), please feel free to share and/or post your souvenirs from 2008 here.

Though we spent New Years in separate cities, we were still in communication with each other. Here's a little taste of what we got into...

NYE/NYD texting between T&L:

Louise (Jan 1, 2009 1:23:05 AM): Happy new year love!

(Thelma has already crashed by now)

Louise (Jan 1, 2009 4:44:42 AM): Let me know how NYE went. Mine was weird per usual.

(Still nothing from Thelma...)

Thelma (Jan 1, 2009 10:26:32 AM): So I woke up at 6 this morning and puked. Then passed out again. Woke up at 9:30 with a pounding headache that required 3 Goody Powders. Starving. Needed food. Walked into living room to discover the shirt I wore last night on the sofa and shoes and keys by the front door. Open front door. Makeup on the stoop. WTF?? Car not there. Great. Have to walk to Joe's. On my way there I step off the sidewalk so 2 brats on scooters can get by. I step in dog shit. Want to die.

Much love!
T-Lo