Thelma hit an all time high on the genius scale today. Email to Lo (Today, 1:27 PM):
“So, today during my lunch break I ran by the house before running a few errands. Since our house has been looking somewhat frat-tastic lately I decided to do a bit of straightening up. So I crammed the rest of the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and decided to go ahead and run a load. Well, as I was pouring the detergent into the little detergent holder thingy, I noticed the bottle of detergent was almost empty. There wasn't enough to fill the detergent holder thingy, but since we were able to cram SOOO many dishes in there, I felt that the dishes wouldn't be thoroughly cleaned if I didn't fill that detergent holder thingy to its full capacity (there was only enough detergent to fill it up about 2/3 full). So I topped it off with regular dish soap, turned on the dishwasher and left to run errands.
After my errands I came back home to make a sandwich to take back to the office. Well, I walk into the kitchen and HOLY SHIT the entire kitchen floor iss COVERED in suds! I am not exaggerating! Bubbles were EVERYWHERE! Let me tell you how long THAT took to clean up. Needless to say we don't have to mop the kitchen floor for a while....”
Yes, that actually happened.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Kiss me, I'm Irish!
We hope everyone had a wonderful Mardi Gras and that whatever you chose to give up for Lent, if anything, you are able to stick with it!
Now, moving on to the next festivity. There has been some underground noise about a possible T-Lo St. Pattie’s Day Party. I mean, where else would you go for this? We have a freaking lighted clover hanging in our front window and we drink Irish car bombs like it’s our job! There is a hitch however. T will not be present with us on this special day as she has her sister’s wedding to attend in TX (I know - how dare she not plan her wedding around our social life!) so the date will have to be moved. There is the distinct possibility that the party will be held the Friday prior to St. Pattie’s. Please indicate on our poll how you would feel about such an event.
P.s. We JUST realized that’s another Friday the 13th! Perfect!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
What’s in our water? Part III
Thank you to everyone who made it to our V-Day party on Friday. It was a blast, per usual. TCO’s punch was a hit yet again. In fact, we’re still enjoying the leftovers ;). For those of you who told us you’d be there and never showed up, don’t even TRY to use the rain as an excuse. You flaked out. End of story. But you’re still invited to the next party :). Anyway, it’s times like this we wish our blog wasn’t anonymous (ha! Who are we kidding?). There are some very imiwa pics of a certain someone’s homemade pink tutu that we unfortunately will not be posting here.
It is quite obvious that once again, the Montgomery Water Works and Sanitary Sewer Board has been tampering with our water supply. If you weren’t out Tuesday night you missed one hell of a shit-show. EVERYONE was COMPLETELY plastered beyond anything we’ve ever seen! Manny described it like being in the Twilight Zone. It was absolutely bizarre. We witnessed at least two people completely bite it. One guy even took out some poor woman with him. She was sitting at the nudie photo hunt machine, and this guy smashed her into the machine when he pummeled her! Fortunately for both of them she was just as hammered as he was and couldn’t care less. I think they ended up going home together. It was like this all night long.
And the insanity apparently wasn’t limited to Cloverdale. At some point we got word that Manny’s friend AJ, who had been out east at Foot on the Floor, lost his wallet to a crack whore! That sucks big time. I don’t even think he got laid, the poor guy!
Also, at some point the conversation turned to hard drugs (???) because the next morning Lo pulled THIS little gem out of her purse:
Bar-nap:
"If you can't do drugs w/your family, do them w/a hooker.
-T"
In other equally disturbing news, Thelma FINALLY got her new car! Guess what kind it is…A BEETLE!!! The disturbing part is actually not the make of the car, but that it’s a stick. Thelma doesn’t know how to drive a stick. She had a quick lesson after work yesterday but it was cut short due to tornadic conditions. So for the first time since we can remember, Lo drove us to the bar. Anyway, that’s your warning to stay off the roads when T’s en route. You can call ahead before you go anywhere to check on her location if you want. It’s probably not a bad idea. Also, so you know what to look out for, the Beetle is navy blue and it’ll be the one bouncing erratically down the street (that whole changing gears deal is really complicated and difficult to learn). It might even be stalled.
As a side note, thank you to all who turned in the proper paperwork for the position of “BF/Assistant/Handler/Entourage” of Lo. The position has been filled. That is all.
It is quite obvious that once again, the Montgomery Water Works and Sanitary Sewer Board has been tampering with our water supply. If you weren’t out Tuesday night you missed one hell of a shit-show. EVERYONE was COMPLETELY plastered beyond anything we’ve ever seen! Manny described it like being in the Twilight Zone. It was absolutely bizarre. We witnessed at least two people completely bite it. One guy even took out some poor woman with him. She was sitting at the nudie photo hunt machine, and this guy smashed her into the machine when he pummeled her! Fortunately for both of them she was just as hammered as he was and couldn’t care less. I think they ended up going home together. It was like this all night long.
And the insanity apparently wasn’t limited to Cloverdale. At some point we got word that Manny’s friend AJ, who had been out east at Foot on the Floor, lost his wallet to a crack whore! That sucks big time. I don’t even think he got laid, the poor guy!
Also, at some point the conversation turned to hard drugs (???) because the next morning Lo pulled THIS little gem out of her purse:
Bar-nap:
"If you can't do drugs w/your family, do them w/a hooker.
-T"
In other equally disturbing news, Thelma FINALLY got her new car! Guess what kind it is…A BEETLE!!! The disturbing part is actually not the make of the car, but that it’s a stick. Thelma doesn’t know how to drive a stick. She had a quick lesson after work yesterday but it was cut short due to tornadic conditions. So for the first time since we can remember, Lo drove us to the bar. Anyway, that’s your warning to stay off the roads when T’s en route. You can call ahead before you go anywhere to check on her location if you want. It’s probably not a bad idea. Also, so you know what to look out for, the Beetle is navy blue and it’ll be the one bouncing erratically down the street (that whole changing gears deal is really complicated and difficult to learn). It might even be stalled.
As a side note, thank you to all who turned in the proper paperwork for the position of “BF/Assistant/Handler/Entourage” of Lo. The position has been filled. That is all.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Be mine.
It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and what a perfect reason to celebrate! We’ve been throwing around the idea of hosting another T-Lo party in honor of Saint Valentine. We’re thinking either the Thursday or Friday evening before Valentines Day (which is that Saturday in case you didn’t know). That way you relationship people can spend VDay with your one and only (barf). We’re polling again for this one so don’t forget to vote!
Anyway, last night over a glass of champagne (yes, we broke our own “weekends only” rule) Lo and I were deep in conversation. About all SORTS of worldly issues of tremendous importance. We also renamed the days of the week. Monday is now Martini Monday (or you can do Margarita Monday if you don’t like Martinis, but Martinis are better), Tequila Tuesday, Whiskey Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, Fucked-up Friday, Shit-faced Saturday, and Sucking-wind Sunday. You’re welcome.
Hooray for Friday! Let’s all meet at the Corner at 7. That means you’ll see me around 9ish. It’s unclear whether Lo will be joining me. She’s a little under the weather (boo) and may need some good ol’ rest and relaxation tonight. Maybe I can still talk Manny into babysitting though. We’ll see.
Have a fantastic weekend, people!
Kisses,
T-Lo
Anyway, last night over a glass of champagne (yes, we broke our own “weekends only” rule) Lo and I were deep in conversation. About all SORTS of worldly issues of tremendous importance. We also renamed the days of the week. Monday is now Martini Monday (or you can do Margarita Monday if you don’t like Martinis, but Martinis are better), Tequila Tuesday, Whiskey Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, Fucked-up Friday, Shit-faced Saturday, and Sucking-wind Sunday. You’re welcome.
Hooray for Friday! Let’s all meet at the Corner at 7. That means you’ll see me around 9ish. It’s unclear whether Lo will be joining me. She’s a little under the weather (boo) and may need some good ol’ rest and relaxation tonight. Maybe I can still talk Manny into babysitting though. We’ll see.
Have a fantastic weekend, people!
Kisses,
T-Lo
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