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Urban dictionary: batshit crazy

1. batshit crazy

1. A synonym for Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise is batshit crazy.

2. batshit crazy

adj. speech or behavior that is over the top, unhinged, self-destructive, or a threat to others.

Condition may be temporary (e.g. "Dad went all batshit crazy on me when he saw the cell phone bill") or prolonged ("Adolph Hitler was a batshit crazy megalomaniac responsible for the deaths of millions in 20th-century Europe.")

Did you see what Maureen wrote last week? Girl's been batshit crazy ever since Michael dumped her.

3. batshit crazy

someone who has absolutely nothing to lose. batshit crazy people are different from regular crazy people because of their attitude and activities. a regular crazy person would shoot at a plane with a pistol. a batshit crazy person will jump off of one plane with a knife in their hands, onto another, break the glass and kill the pilot ... and land safely. in order to be truly batshit crazy the person must do the most outrageous things every and still return safely.

crazy: throw a brick through your window

batshit crazy: throw a brick through your window, call the cops, wait for them to arrive, tell them what they did, and still get away.

It’s the weekend, people!

Is anyone else really excited about this? I don’t know about you, but we’ve had one hell of a week! Well, it was mostly just yesterday.

Last night…er, this morning…I came home from Joe’s and finished off those tacos. I’m sure they were delicious, but this morning I was suffering from some pretty mean indigestion. Tacos at 1 a.m. = bad idea. Moss (that’s a secret Thelma & Louise code word. Oh yeah, we also like to speak in code occasionally. But acronyms are still the sh*t)!

Since it’s FINALLY the weekend (not that that matters), you’ll probably spot us out at Joe’s later on this evening.

Oh, that reminds me! Last night I was sitting at the bar with JT, and some old dude asked me if I play shuffleboard. I laughed and said “Nooo-wuh!” He walked away but then he came back to try and negotiate. He asked if I’d like to learn how to play. I told him it’s not that I don’t know how to play – my granddad taught me years ago – it’s that I don’t want to play. He asked if I was “with” JT (I’m not, btw). I told him I’m not and then he said, “You should be, he’s cute!” Huh? JT, of course, was highly offended. Oh well.

Anyway, Joe’s tonight. I’m hoping I’ll be able to hang longer than usual. I’d like to also make it up to the 7. The 7’s another neighborhood bar. I’m not sure we’ve mentioned it before now. It’s more of a late-night place…unless you’re in to backgammon (???). Sometimes they have good bands. NUDIE PHOTO HUNT!!! I can’t wait!

Keep your fingers crossed the d-bag level is low tonight…

Refrigerator magnet

I used to have one. My dad brought it back from a trip to Paris (or Vegas – whatev). It was pretty. It had flowers on it. I can’t remember what kind of flowers, but they were purple. They might have been orchids. Oh well. That’s not the point.

The point is the magnet is gone. It was carelessly tossed in the garbage. “I didn’t think it was important” was the explanation. It doesn’t matter. The magnet didn’t belong to you. It wasn’t yours to throw away. Goodbye, refrigerator magnet. :(

Phew! What a day…

Do you ever have one of those days that are just completely exhausting? Maybe because work was insane? Or because you had to deal with difficult people? Yeah, it’s been one of those days. May need a drink after work. You’re all invited (well, most of you…).

leave me alone...

seriously. stop contacting me. no texts. no ims. no phone calls. no waving in my direction. don't even look at me.